Where You Lead

Model Lives

Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity.

1 Timothy 4:12

What a wonderful message for our children!

It seems that young people have always had to deal with older folks dismissing them because of inexperience. Just as we should hold older people in high regard, valuing the wisdom they bring to our lives and the perspective of age, we should also value our young people for their enthusiasm and tendency to dream big. All ages have so much to offer!

I admit, though, that I sometimes dismiss my own children and their opinions based solely on their lack of knowledge. Shame on me. Rather, I need to listen closely to what they have to say and find the inspiration in their words. I must encourage my children to think freely and to stand up for their beliefs as I guide them toward God’s love.

Children taught to follow our Lord can be a tremendous example to their friends and family. Our children are the future and we should rejoice when they display the best of youth to the rest of the world.

Honoring Parents

Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.

Exodus 20:12

I won’t even begin to touch upon the way I treated my own parents when I was a teenager. Those are years that I’d just as soon forget. Today, though, I appreciate my parents more and more every day. I try very hard to show my own children how to respect me by setting an example with my parents.

I know that I’m very blessed. God has given two wonderful parents so honoring them is an easy task. They’re not perfect, and sometimes they can be downright frustrating, but I have learned to appreciate their really wonderful qualities while simply accepting their shortcomings as part of who they are. I often point out to my children how lucky we are to have such wonderful people in our lives. The flaws my parents have are so very minor compared to the generous, loving people they are.

I’ve known people who were not so nice and must have been quite a challenge to love. I knew a woman who was very generous but she could be very blunt, to the point of hurting feelings. Her daughter acknowledged the frustration but also mentioned once that her son learned a great deal by dealing with his grandmother. When he got a job bagging groceries, he was able to handle the grumpiest old folks because he had learned to honor and respect his own grandmother and to appreciate her generous natures, even when she was being difficult.

It is so vital that we teach our children to honor us and the best way to do that is by setting an example with our own behavior. Let’s remember to honor our parents. Let’s teach by example.

Daily Life

Impress [these commandments] on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Deuteronomy 6:7

I have 6 children, ranging in age from 29 to 11. The way I parented at 20 is very different from the way I parented at 35. I made mistakes and I learned. I learned that it wasn’t enough to take my kids to church on Sunday then behave badly the rest of the week.

It is so important that our children have the opportunity to see us putting into action the lessons we attempt to teach them. If we tell our children that it is wrong to seek revenge on someone, then we must be willing to walk away from the temptation to hurt those who hurt us. It isn’t enough to tell our kids to always tell the truth; they must hear us telling the truth even when it would be easier to fib.

Most important, if we tell our children to treat others as Jesus would, then we must also treat others kindly. Whether that means smiling at the neighbor who calls the police on your children when their ball goes in her yard or refraining from yelling unkind words to the driver who cuts you off in traffic (my personal challenge), behaving in a Christ-like way goes so much farther than simply telling our children how to behave.

Every day, there are opportunities to show our children how a Christian behaves. Every days we are presented with chances to allow our actions to speak to our children. Let’s remember that our children are watching and learning. Let’s teach them constantly, how to live as Christ has instructed us.

Consistency

Fathers do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.

Ephesians 6:4

I’m not sure why Paul addresses only fathers in this passage; mothers must be careful with how they parent as well. Perhaps it has to do with authority. I’m not sure. What I do know is that parenting is a tough job.

I think the most exasperating thing for kids is inconsistency. When jumping on the furniture one day brings out video cameras and laughs, but elicits a scolding the next day, a child becomes confused. Rules and discipline should be constant.

Teaching right and wrong is a lifelong lesson. Kids need to be taught, both in words and actions, how to live according to God’s plan. As parents, we have a tremendous responsibility to make clear to our children what is expected of them and the consequences of not following through. There needs to be consistency in how we discipline our children but also consistency in our words and actions.

Loving Discipline

He who spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is careful to discipline him.

Proverbs 13:24

If ever a Bible passage was misused and misunderstood, it is this one. My heart aches every time someone quotes this passage to explain or rationalize hitting (swatting, spanking, whipping, etc.) their child. Unlike some passages that are debated due to a literal or figurative meaning, this one is misused because of ignorance.

Most of us have never herded sheep. The rod in this passage refers to the rod used by shepherds. Like a shepherd who guides their sheep, we parents are responsible for guiding our children. If a shepherd spares the rod, the sheep will stray as will our children without discipline.

What we need to understand, though, is that the shepherd never uses the rod to strike the sheep. Rather, the rod is used to gently guide the sheep in the right direction. The rod extends the reach of the shepherd’s arm so that he can walk along and help keep the sheep on the right path, prodding when necessary.

Our job as parents is to guide our children into adulthood with a firm arm. We must keep our children within our reach, prod them along and use the rod of discipline to gently nudge them back on the proper path. God has entrusted to our care these precious people, so filled with wonder of love. We must cherish them and treat them with the same love that we expect our own Heavenly Father to treat us.